Caspy's Sixth Sense

Can you keep a secret? I sure can't, buuuuuuuut, I've managed to keep this one secret for quite a while. BUT I CAN'T KEEP IT ANY LONGER!!! ARGHHHHHHHH! OR I'LL GO CRAZY!!!!!
Raspy: You already are.
That's not the point. Anyway, here's the secret.

I have a special "Susan-sense."

Let me rephrase that. It means that whenever Susan needs help or needs me or another guy is hanging out with her too much my special "Susan-sense" starts tingling and I can rush to the rescue. Pretty awesome, huh? Yeah, I thought so, too. That's why I couldn't keep it a secret anymore. So here's where this all came to into play.

I was hanging around at Moria Mall when I ran into Rab. Literally. Our conversation went a little like this:

Rab: DUDE! Watch where you're going!
Me: HEY!
Rab: Woah, like, what are you like shopping for?
Me: Uhh, duh, shopping for Susan because tomorrow is the BIG DAY!
Rab: Big day? Oh, could it be... OH DUH! It's NOT Valentine's Day.
Then he walked off. I headed off to the florist to pick out some fab flowers for Susan. This time I was smart enough to know not to get Itchrush weed thingys. Last time they made my arms get all red and welted and itchy. Somehow Susan was okay though. Huh, weird.
It was then that I noticed Rab over to the side picking out some flowers. Well, I could just imagine Susan's reaction.

*fades into Caspy's imagination*
Su: Woah, like Rab, did you like pick these flowers out of the trash or what? Dude, these are gross!
*fades out of imagination*

So of course I was going to get better flowers than Rab. I picked out the biggest, most extravagant bouquet EVER! She's so gonna flip!

After that I started following Rab around. He went to the chocolate shop next and bought her a box of chocolates that came with a free DesertGirl sample. He is so cheap. Of course, I went in and ordered a life-size chocolate model of myself to be made and...

What? Where am I going to get the money to pay for all of this? Oh don't worry. Sales from my latest album "Bacon, You're Mine " and my signature "I Love Caspy" t-shirts should cover it. What?! I'm being more extravagant that Rab. YES! FINALLY! And, oh, I haven't sold any copies of my new album...or any of my t-shirts. Bummer.

Maybe I should get a job. Yes, Caspy, that is definitely the most brilliant idea you've had today! So maybe my new album isn't selling and bringing in money, but having a real job will definitely get me real cash. And if a real man, has a real job, then I NEED a real job! (Or I won't be a real man!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

But...who's gonna hire me? Any ideas?

(To be continued...)