Meet Caspy the Fake!

Hair gel. Tumnus Toothpaste. BACON! Huh? What? This isn't my shopping list? Oh. Hello. This is my blog.

 My name is Caspy the Fake. I am the fake Caspian. I look like this:

Don't you find my awesome good looks overpowering? I bet my darling Susan does. I don't know what is up with her. I think she finds my good looks TOO overpowering, which is understandable. Because I am like AMAZING!!!!!!!
Some people seem to think I am blond. They get me mixed up with my cousin. He's my second cousin on my mother's side, twice removed (I think). He looks like this:

Now you understand why some people confuse us. He is book-verse and I am movie-verse. I totally like have a cooler accent. He sounds British. I sound SPAINish. Come on, it is a real word after all! And Susan loves me. She won't even talk to Caspian. She adores me. I write her love songs constantly. I cry (even if it is unmanly) every single night that she doesn't email me. Which is becoming more and more frequent. Huh. Maybe I should write her more songs...

I love bacon. Plain and simple. Bacon is amazing. I sing about bacon too. Maybe Susan wants me to send her my latest album, "Greasy-Haired Prince". My No. 1 hit, "Bacon" is on there! Ahhhh...Susan. Mmmm, bacon. This is the cover for my album.

Did I mention Octy yet? No? Okay. Octy is my adorably, gurgling slimeball of an octopus. He loves bacon too, and I'm sure that he would love Susan just as much as I do...if he ever got a chance to meet her.

My bestest friend in the whole wide world (besides beautiful Susan) is Prince Rabadash of Calormen. We agree on everything (except of course, who gets to marry Susan). We met way back in kindergarten. His dad is the Tisroc (may he live forever) sent him to rich-kid school, but he would sneak out and we would meet up and drink tons of caffine! It was awesome. I was a bit of a jerk in my younger days. Though Rab would be quick to point out that I am still a jerk to this day. Some kids never grow up.

Ah, but I'm getting hungry. I need a nice piece of juicy and crunchy bacon to munch on. Octy's gonna join me and perhaps we will call up Rab or video-chat with Susan. Oh, wait. Scratch Susan. She blocked me. Oh well. Bacon is calling!
Sincerely, Caspy the Jerk, er Fake

P.S. Rab's gonna do a guest post tomorrow.